Seasons of Life

God is teaching me something right now, well always - but in this season of life I’m not exactly sure how to interpret or even put in words.  This pregnancy has put a whole different viewpoint in front of me.  Sometimes it almost even feels like I have a different personality.  Not necessarily forcing, but strongly nudging me, to be content in all circumstances.  I used to be a pretty “highly-driven” person.  Sometimes I still am, but I know I’ve backed way off.  I used to run from one thing to the next.  I didn’t know how to say “no.”  I’ve always been a people-pleaser.  I quickly get excited about things but end up overcommitting myself and then realize I get burned out in the end.

From before this pregnancy and just from different life experiences I’ve been through, God has taught me continues to teach me patience and trust.  I am so excited to meet this little girl – but I am… I can’t even think of the right word… reserved maybe?  I love to feel her movements all throughout the day –and once I actually see her face, I know my heart will melt and crumble and tears will fall from my eyes.  But I also know how quickly things are given, and how quickly things can be taken away.  I know how God has our best interest at heart even when it doesn’t match up with our plan.  So even at 33 weeks of pregnancy, I just told a friend the other day I’m still feeling somewhat “mellow” in facing this exciting new chapter of our life welcoming a child – taking one day at a time.  I don’t have a closet full of clothes – yet I have what we need for now.  I’m not all about getting the most expensive equipment or gadgets.   I’ve been blessed to borrow from friends/family or get 2^nd-hand.  And even in my own life, I continue to wrestle with these things.  I don’t need to have the nicest/cleanest house, I don’t need to drive a fancy car (even though I’m already thinking how more space would be nice) – I’m learning to be content in “getting by” with what we really need and focusing on the more important things in life.  I’m content with sitting home every single night in my sweats and relaxing with my husband (this used to seem so boring and drive me nuts)... and I know our nights will consist of that even more when baby arrives! :)

Sometimes I have felt strange about that or even guilty – but again, I’m reminding myself to be content with where I’m at and what God is teaching me.  We really are blessed beyond imagination when we stop and remember others around the world, or even in our own community.  I don’t have to care what others think about how I act/react to things as long as I’m following and being obedient to where God’s leading me/us.

Last week I sat down by the piano and starting singing a song I sang at both of my nephew’s baptisms.  By the last chorus I couldn't sing through my tears because I desire so badly for my little girl to know and learn about Jesus just as I have – yet this world is so scary and cruel.  I need to surrender that too and be content with the Holy Spirit working in and through her life.  We’ll do our part with teaching and praying as much as we can – remembering to be content that God is director of her life overall.  So if I would decide to sing that same song at her baptism, pray I can get through it. :) 

Whatever God may be stirring in your heart, I pray, too, that you are filled with a sense of contentment in where he’s calling you to be even though that is way easier said than done in most circumstances.  Blessings on your journey!

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.  - Philippians 4:12-13