Oh Baby

These last few months I have had so many blog post ideas float around in my head.  They were very well thought out, worded, and planned.  And then life just happens.  Time passes.  I'd rather spend time with my family than sit down and write a blog post most days, even though it is therapeutic!

So even though I feel way behind, I'm just going to start with the latest news.  We are having another baby (which most of you know)!  I am 16 weeks today and just starting to feel past the "sick" part.... I think!  So I am very grateful for that.  We are excited!  It's been kind of a crazy year.  My younger sister had a baby in February.  I told them right before she had her baby that we were expecting.  And now my older sister is also pregnant and due 3 weeks after me!  My last 2 pregnancies I've been a part of "baby booms".  With Kenna, we had 6 girls pregnant at ATLAS (my work) at the same time.  This time, my sisters and I were all pregnant for a short while at the same time even though we didn't all know it - and we'll all have babies in 2015!  It might get a little crazy going from 4 grandkids to 7 in one year - but we will take it in stride and have fun!

With pregnancy for me though, comes a lot of emotions flooding back from past experiences... and even fear.  It's strange for me to put a number on a baby.  Like really this is baby #2 for us (physically) - but no it's really baby #3!  And I was reminded of that when I was asked at my early ultrasound how many times I've been pregnant.  I almost had to gulp and think... yeah, this is actually my THIRD!  And no, I will never forget about that first experience so it DOES count, there WAS a life there for a short while.  So in earthly perspectives, there are still some difficult questions that arise.

Also entering the room for my early ultrasound at 8 weeks because of my ectopic pregnancy history, I was NERVOUS... again!  What am I going to see? Is there even going to be a baby there? Is it going to be in the right spot (not tubal)? Is there going to be a heartbeat?

All I knew is walking in there I repeated the same thought in my head that I have repeated several times - not only during pregnancy, but through any fearful situation.  "No matter what happens today, no matter the outcome, Jesus IS the SAME.  He's the same as He was yesterday, and He will be the same tomorrow."  That is a great reminder for me.  Even when my world may crumble around me, Jesus remains the same. And really that's all I need!

With every doctor appointment, I find myself holding my breath again.  Walking out after hearing a heartbeat makes me breathe a little easier.  Yet because of my past circumstances and lessons, it drives me to pray a bit harder and appreciate a bit more how each day, each week, each month is really a blessing.  God gives and takes away, and he also makes us wait sometimes longer than we've hoped - I've learned that in a tangible way and won't ever forget it. 

So as we continue on in this pregnancy, we press on to trust God with the outcome and pray for a healthy pregnancy.  Kenna doesn't really understand all of this yet, but we know she'll make a great big sister!