Mother’s Day

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day.  Amazing how much difference a year can make!  Last year I was dreading Mother’s Day with everything in my being.  I hated the thought of it for me, I hated the thought of it for everyone else I knew (and even didn’t know) who was struggling with infertility, I hated it for the ones who have lost children, and I just wanted to curl up in a ball until it passed.  I didn’t go to church because my emotions were too raw – I didn’t want to sit through the whole service in tears… totally not worth it.  I didn’t want to hear the word  “mom” and “happy” a bunch of times and every time it would never be associated with me.

I always knew looking back that God’s plan would make sense, that it would be worth the wait whatever it meant, and that I would feel blessed because I was obedient to Him.  But the ugliness of this world still cuts us down and is so strongly discouraging at times.  Yes, I feel incredibly blessed this year.  Only by God’s grace and divine plan, I have a little girl that will someday call me “MOM.”  And she is more beautiful and precious than ever.  (Side note: Kenna actually means beautiful!)

I know that God’s plan for me and for Kenna and our little family is perfect and that God is faithful whether it falls in line with our timing or not!  Yes, I can still relate to the raw emotions of infertility and losing a baby – and my heart still breaks for and prays fervently for those that are facing those similar situations right now.  Mother’s Day definitely isn’t a “joyful” time for everyone but I rejoice and praise God for the fact that He will return and save us from all of the worldly turmoil and despair. 

I am proud to be a mom today… and I am so very grateful to God for giving me the opportunity to enjoy and experience the desire of my heart.  I love you baby girl!