Contentment

Usually around the holidays, typically Thanksgiving, I always try to reflect on the last year and reminisce on the journey God has me on.  As I try to count my blessings and list what I’m thankful for – that list could go on and on.  Some are simple things, some are big things, and some are just feelings.

This year I really feel God has taught me contentment – and for that I am thankful.  No, my life has not gone as I would’ve planned or dreamed 5 years ago, but I’m learning to be content with that.  I would not have chosen the path of losing a baby the same week I found out I was pregnant, I would not have chosen the path of struggling with infertility, and I probably wouldn’t have chosen the path to be a person reaching out to others hurting and dealing with these same painful issues.  But that is where God has me, that is where He wants me, and I’m choosing to be thankful for that today.  It truly has been a blessing in my spiritual journey – and I know it’s only by God’s provision and grace that I have grown immensely through this.

Don’t get me wrong – there are still many days filled with tears and frustration.  There are constant reminders all around of other young families with children that I often envy.  There are times that my heart aches as I just observe my husband and how good he is with and how much he loves children – that I KNOW he’d be an amazing father.  But in those moments – I am also reminded of God’s faithfulness.  Even though I often have to remind myself, I choose to be content with the times I can still sit at home in silence with just my husband.  I’m content with the days I’m allowed to sleep in and wake up whenever I feel like it.  I’m content watching my nephews and giving them back to their parents when they’re tired and crabby. :)  And I’m getting better at and learning to be content with God’s timing and plan.  It’s obviously not up to me.

A verse that has been a great reminder for me is from Romans 8:18 - “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”  This is only our temporary home – and I want to be used by God no matter what that means or where that leads me.

Contentment can be hard.  It seems that we always long for something more.  But I challenge you today to think of the things you may be anxious about, dreaming about, or wishing for in your life that might not be as you would have hoped for or planned.  Where can you turn that into contentment and thankfulness to God?